10 expert tips to transform your home into an oasis
“Oasis” is a word so many clients-to-be use on the free discovery call when I ask them what they want their organized home to feel like.
Merriam-Webster defines oasis as
something that provides refuge, relief, or pleasant contrast
Which makes sense, right? Because shouldn’t our home be the solace to stress, not the source of it?
To be clear, this is not an easy-breezy checklist where you can just do these quick little things and have a forever-relieved home. Please, please, please, commit to reading this entire article (and share any parts that resonate with you!).
Part of why I chose my (very long) business name is that INTENTION is 100% required in everyday life to maintain organization. I want to help people get Consciously Cleared and Contained.
No matter how organized you are, how minimalist you are, how simplified and streamlined you’ve made your home, clutter WILL sneak in. Clutter is inevitable. We are constantly accumulating—even if we don’t mean to be or want to be.
You can take that as fact from me, a professional organizer who is a minimalist who fights hard against depression and anxiety AND who also lives with a spouse, toddler, and fur baby.
So, I humbly offer 10 tips.
Practice radical acceptance.
No one is immune to clutter. You must stay vigilant. Everyday attention to excess prevents buildup, overwhelm, and disarray. No need to label this as good or bad. Just address it. If you do it daily (because it is a practice), it’s only a few minutes.
Focus first on YOUR spaces.
A good starting point is your own closet, not your kitchen, basement, or the kids’ playroom. Why? Because you have literally all the control here. You need to warm up your decluttering muscles. Ask yourself the tough questions. Be honest, real, and raw. It’s only you to account for. Come up with your own individualized criteria for letting go. Here’s some examples:
Does this fit my TODAY body?
Do I wear this? (Or, do I wear this at least x times/year?)
Do I actually, really, truly love this? Or is it just OK, or it just fits me fine?
Do I feel comfortable in this when I (a) give hugs, (2) sit down, (3) reach overhead, (4) bend over, etc?
Does it still seem to be in good shape? (No pilling, holes, stains, etc)
If I saw it today in the store, would I purchase this again?
Is this piece of clothing worthy of being in my beloved closet?
Before you start, have an exit strategy and a plan for accountability.
All too often, I see clients’ homes with piles of items they’ve put aside to “donate” that have sat stagnant. Life is so busy and relentless that if we don’t act quick with the decluttering momentum, it gets stuck in the house (or worse, an unsuspecting partner puts the items “away”).
Make a plan and execute it fully. When you’re finished with the decluttering task, load up your car and take it to your designated drop-off spot.
It helps to know in advance where you will take items. A quick search lets you find local nonprofits who are in need of items. I try to shout out some of incredible resources on my FB page (www.facebook.com/consciouslyclearedandcontained) and promote giving to intentional charities over Goodwill.
Take a selfie or check in on social media to shout yourself out, which also brings more attention to these awesome resources and may inspire your friends or family to do their own declutter.
Know your end goal, and stay focused.
So if your goal is to have your bedroom feel like an oasis—the question with every single item you encounter (in your closet, on your nightstand, on the walls, etc) is, Does this item give off the oasis vibe, or does it add stress or take away from that relief/calm? Using that lens helps clarify what stays, or actually what is worthy of staying.
I had a client once tell me that she wanted her bedroom to feel like an oasis, and I observed that this was also the space where she sorts/opens her mail—which was a HUGE stressor for her. So, we made changes to that routine.
Break it down into specific, concrete, manageable chunks.
When you hire me to help, because this is my passion, my profession, my true purpose, I move fast and I tailor my process to your needs, but work efficiently, feverishly (hey, I’m on the clock), and with tough love-infused with empathy.
When it’s just you, and you’re not a professional, it’s perfectly fine to go slow. In fact, there’s plenty of memes about the instant regret people feel when they empty their entire closet onto the bed and then feel paralysis and regret.
Go slow here means start with all your socks. If you now work remote and still have allllllllllll your work attire, pull that out to pare down. Pull out every pair of jeans you have (even from the hamper/laundry area) and pick only your favorites/most comfortable to keep.
If you’re a checklist person, literally write down the different types of clothes you have and sort one by one. Then cross off. OMG for me that feels SO good.
It may feel like a bear to “declutter and organize my closet,” but “declutter and organize my sweatshirts” is totally manageable, right?
Embrace being uncomfortable.
I mean, if you’re reading this, you’re either my parents (hi!) or technically you already are upset with your clutter. Many people can become blind to their own clutter. Or you just choose to ignore it, or you think this is just how your life is, or you label yourself as lazy, incapable, or out of control. This is your shame lying to you. These things are straight-up not true.
What’s true is that you may have never learned how to keep your home tidy, how to take care of your belongings, how to decide when to let go of items, how to be a gatekeeper of your home, how to say no firmly when you’re being offered freebies or hand-me-downs.
What’s true is that it’s literally SO HARD to initiate decluttering and organizing when you feel stuck, trapped, or overwhelmed by your stuff.
No one wants to have a messy, cluttered home. It’s OK to acknowledge that you’ve let it get away from you, that you are desperate for a reset, that you need to do something different.
That’s growth, baby! It’s OK to be uncomfortable moving forward in a new way. Keep pushing through. That’s growth mindset, that’s abundance mindset. You can and will get to the other side of this (and I’m here for a nudge, handholding, or to drag you across your finish line!).
Carve out the time and make it happen.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment of inspiration to wash over you. Put it on your calendar, even if just 30 minutes, and do it. Take a before picture (even if just for you), set a timer, put on some music you love, and do your first task. Edit down your tank tops, cut your dress in half, narrow down your sweaters to only the most coziest and warm.
This is a gift you are giving to yourself. This is self-care. This is for you, by you. Keep the shame gremlins at bay by reminding yourself that you are worthy of a bedroom that feels like an oasis. You deserve a closet of calm.
Don’t go halfway. When you do this process authentically, you empower yourself to improve your confidence, decision-making, and ability to live intentionally.
Where many people get stuck is that they doubt themselves. This is where I’ll remind you of the famous quote “clutter is postponed decisions.” Maybe you’ve never decluttered before, maybe you haven’t done so THIS intentionally, maybe you’re afraid of making a mistake. This is only shame and fear talking.
You learn to trust yourself by committing to the process and by making the easier decisions first. You build strength and confidence in your decision making the more you do it. I rarely often an indecision bin, but when I do, I can tell you that most people end of donating the majority of it in the end.
(This is always an option if it’s really hard for you to imagine permanently removing items from your home. Put them away in a bin in the attic or basement, label it, date it, and make a plan to return to it—literally put it on your calendar in a month or 6 months or 1 year)
Notice the relief and trust that you deserve that.
You’ll see the many positive benefits of owning way less and having everything in its rightful home.
Bring mindfulness of how nice it feels to walk from your bed to your closet without literally stepping on your stuff.
Pay attention to how easy it is to choose what to wear when you have space to sift through every item you love and that fits.
Appreciate the ease of needing to find a blazer for an event and being able to open the closet and find it instantly.
Note the time you save each morning trying on items that don’t quite fit right, that aren’t exactly what you want but you can’t find, that have a stain.
Be aware of how easy it is to reset, to get your clothes put away after laundering, to maintain.
Vow to move forward differently.
Bring the same intention into shopping. Before you click “Buy Now” or before you get on line to pay at the store, ask yourself
Do I really actually love this?
Do I truly need this?
Do I have something similar to it at home already? And do I love this more than that, so that I can donate the existing and have this upgrade?
Where exactly will this live in my space? Is there enough room?
If it’s on sale, am I buying this only because it’s a deal? Would I pay full price for it?
If a friend or family member offers you an item that they no longer want/need, say no thank you. You don’t owe them an explanation. “No” is a full sentence.
If someone gifts you something you don’t love, won’t use, doesn’t have meaning to you, you don’t have to keep it. Be gracious and know that the gift giver wouldn’t want you to feel burdened by it.
You can try the one-in/one-out rule (or one-in/two-out) rule. You can try turning your hangers backward and then after x amount of time, if you haven’t worn it let it go.
You can keep a DONATE bin in your closet or by the laundry or entryway, so that if you put something on and decide you no longer love it, or the fit has changed, or it looks too worn, you can immediately put it in the donate bin and once it’s full move it out.
I know you can do this. And I’m here to help when you are ready; there’s no shame in calling in a pro to help GET. IT. DONE. Book a free call to talk about your home: https://calendly.com/consciouslyclearedandcontainedllc/freecall
And read on for more inspiration…