3 steps to get started if you’re too overwhelmed to begin
Let me just get right to it. If you’re totally overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, take a deep breath and read these 3 jumping-off points:
Give yourself gentle, nonjudgmental acceptance.
The truth is, beating yourself up for how cluttered your home is actually prevents movement. How can you be motivated to start (somewhere/anywhere) when you’re being so harsh and cruel? We can so easily overcomplicate things by adding “should” statements and creating unnecessary stress of self-abuse.
Take a deep breath. You’re human. You may have tiny humans watching you. Maybe you never learned how to tidy your space, maybe you grew up in a home with a parent who hoarded, maybe you grew up without a lot of control and in scarcity so you’ve learned to self-protect by holding onto your items.
When I was younger, I was in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and there was a lesson that was emphasized: “pain + nonacceptance = suffering.”
I really doubt anyone genuinely loves their mess, the clutter, the overwhelm. It’s a discomfort you’ve adjusted to, an everyday stressor that simply exists in your presence. Some can become blind to their own clutter.
I know how it hurts, though. I know from my experiences in depression with an overwhelmed home the humiliation, shame, paralysis, and lack of initiation to change—it freaking hurts.
So, what if instead of blame, self-hate, etc., we try a mindset of grace and growth:
“My home is cluttered, and I can take back control.”
Do ONE thing. (Yes, I’m channeling Anna from Frozen 2, “do the next right thing!”)
Wherever you’re reading this, pause and look around you. Start small and start right where you are, right now. If you’re at the dining room table, can you take a few minutes to clear it? Or if you’re in bed, start with your nightstand. Or if you’re on the couch, are there items around you that shouldn’t be living on the couch?
(Or you can focus on one small area of your home that’s a pain point, but that’s not too huge to conquer in one go. Like, the entryway. The Tupperware drawer. Your bathroom vanity.)
Pick up the trash/recycling, relocate items to their homes or their respective rooms, and … here’s the bigger challenge: what can you let go of? Start a donation pile. If you want to make real change, you need to accept that a home that’s tidy and easy to manage/reset has MUCH. LESS. STUFF.
Don’t be scared by that! This is actually really empowering because you have control here. You can decide what’s worth your energy, time, and maintenance. You can choose a different path forward. You are not your clutter. You are not your stuff. You have the power here.
Commit to momentum, if only 5-10 minutes a day. Block it out on your family calendar; set an timer; have a theme song; get pumped!
You didn’t get here overnight; accept that there’s no quick fix. If you can commit to small chunks of time as part of your daily routine, you’ll be chipping away and you WILL see progress. What I also expect will happen is that your family will be inspired, your endurance for decluttering will improve, you’ll gain confidence to take on bigger projects around the home, AND…you’ll start noticing a decline of impulse buys, putting things away instead of down, and being more mindful about what you allow into your home.
You CAN and will find your way out of this mess if you focus on small, concrete steps, without judgment, and with consistent effort. You are the captain of your own ship—your family, your home, your life—and you can course-correct. It begins with giving yourself grace and taking that one small step forward.
I’m here for you and rooting for you: 2024 can be a game-changing year. Book a free discovery call with a passionate, professional organizer who leads with empathy and integrity: https://calendly.com/consciouslyclearedandcontainedllc/freecall
Finally, I have to again recommend one of my most favorite books on the subject, “How to Keep House While Drowning,” by KC Davis. Stop by your local library to check out. It’s a quick read and it’s so totally moving and inspiring and real.