Messages received but not listened to
I’m writing this late in the day because this morning my vision was significantly blurry due to a severe infection. It was scary and intense. And it gave me a ton of time to…just think. To just be here, in my body, still.
My beautiful wife, forgiving me for skipping a 4-hour window of alone time (such a rare gift!) to squeeze in an organizing session.
“Do you want to run your business or let your business run you?” A mentor.
“I wish I could but if said yes I know I’d be overcommitting. And I simply don’t have capacity to do that right now.” A new life coach I’ve met.
“Are you in this for a long time or just a good time? Don't exploit yourself. Balance” a very close friend.
This meme on a Danish parenting group I love and follow:
I had to leave a job early yesterday—first time ever as a small business owner. Saying the words “I need to leave right now” to this relatively new client as we’d really made incredible headway, phew that was HARD. I come from a healthcare background where it is hard not to judge my self worth on how “productive” I am. And yet yesterday morning, my body—my eyes—were literally shutting down on me. It was a scary drive home. I got the help I needed and I’m slowly on the mend.
All this to say, I walk the talk. I want to do it all and I try hard as well, but I can’t. I practice self-care albeit sometimes a little too late. I struggle, I disregard my own boundaries, I regroup and try better. I own my mistakes, I make amends. I work to realign myself with my values. And I work, and work again, and keep working on, letting myself rest. Recharge. Restore.
I’m lucky to have the partner and family to catch me when I fall. I’m privileged to have my ability, my wellness, my strength, under normal circumstances.
All this to say, I know I talk a lot about LESS. I sit here and post about minimalism and decluttering, and giving everything a space, treating our homes as sacred places that can restore us.
And maybe you think, “that sounds nice,” or some of it strikes a deeper nerve. Perhaps you can’t unhear what I said. I could’ve planted a seed. You might be inspired but not enough to do anything about it, yet.
You see, it’s ok to be in a season of just listening. Of not making big moves or necessary changes or the “appropriate” adjustments. It’s ok to be so busy that we miss the mark on ourselves. It’s normal, it’s part of being human.
Because, we can try again. We can hit reset. We can choose to keep listening and trust that we will be ready, one day. We can be kind and gentle with ourselves as we wrestle with our current mindsets.
I wish for you a moment of peace. And to know that I’m rooting for you. In solidarity of the struggle. Recovering from perfectionism and people pleasing and just doing the best I can in a world where it often feels not enough.
Slide into my DM if you just need someone to listen. And if you feel ready to begin to make serious changes about your relationships to your belongings, your spaces/your home, and how you organize your life, book a free call. Let’s just talk, that’s the first step.
https://calendly.com/consciouslyclearedandcontainedllc/freecall