THIS is why your home is not organized
As a professional organizer, part of what I preach is that you are unique. Your family, your home, your belongings—unique. To this end, there is no right or wrong way to organize. It’s about finding what works for you. It’s organizing in a way that feels authentic, that aligns with your values, that helps your daily routines flow and function more seamlessly, that brings peace to your family. Decluttering and organizing as a practice is actually empowering as hell, and it’s my job to instill in you that wisdom.
But first, how did you get here—to this feeling of dread getting dressed each morning? To the anxiety you feel just looking at the playroom and its avalanche of toys? To packing for a big trip but being unable to find your passport and the anxiety of … what if you have truly lost it? To another fight with your spouse about the amount of clutter in the kitchen that makes everyday life so exhausting?
Being a professional organizer means I’m privileged to enter and explore a LOT of peoples’ homes. I get to see the parts of their home they hide from others, I get to look under the bed and in THAT closet, and in the storage spaces.
When I do my hourlong in-home consultation, I’m aware of my privilege; I enter humbly, without judgment. I make observations, I find patterns, I ask questions. I help people determine what brought them to this moment—feeling such insurmountable STUCK-ness that they hire a professional to help them to the other side of the clutter.
And I’m sharing with you what I see as main reasons our homes are unorganized (in no specific order)—and it could be one or two main culprits for you, or a combination of them. Or all of them. Or some are on you, some on your partner. Knowing is an essential step to doing better!
Please don’t feel called out. I hope you’ll feel inspired to make micro-changes that can help you reroute and invite some calm into your home. As always, please message me for support/accountability/with questions.
Not communicating (boundaries, expectations, when you need help)
Your family or housemates are NOT mind readers. You need to be a team about the expectations each person is to have in the home to maintain it and help keep it tidy. It is NOT solely one person’s job. Everyone who lives there can be involved in some way. (As an occupational therapist, I can help you determine age-appropriate responsibilities and also account for any physical/mental/emotional barriers!)
Boundaries help you maintain clutter. “We are sticking to the list at Target today, nothing extra.” This holds you accountable to your kids and lets your kids know that this cool new toy is NOT coming home with you. You do not need to buy your children toys for accompanying you on errands. You do not need to buy them a treat every time you’re out and about.
I mentioned this on my page recently; as a person with anxiety, I am quickly overwhelmed by the clutter. One night, I turned to my family almost in tears and asked for help doing a massive reset. There were too many things out, not in their homes, and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. When you explicitly for help, stating point-blank, “I need everything off the floor and put away” OR “Everything on the dining table needs to be returned to its home” makes it crystal clear what the expectation is. Owning my anxiety was part of the solution too, because I’m helping my family understand the effects that clutter has on me.
Impulse buying/mindless shopping
This comes in the form of…
late-night “buy now” clicks
unexpected sales/bargains that are “too good to pass up”
“oh this is cute” and dropping knickknacks in your cart in the a certain home store’s checkout line which is JAMPACKED WITH CRAP WHILE YOU WAIT IN THE LONGEST LINE EVERRRRRR
flippantly thinking your sister or your friend will like this, and buying it without a plan of when you will see them next, how you will get it to them, where will you store it in the meantime so you don’t lose it, etc.
Not having systems in place
What is your family’s routine for when they walk in the door? Is there a place to drop bookbags, hang coats, put away shoes? Or is it a free for all?
How do you deal with important mail, for example when you get something tax-related? Does it stay unopened in a pile that’s daunting and ever-growing? Do you toss it in a reusable bag with the rest of the stuff that’s on the counter preventing you from making dinner, and lose that bag in a closet somewhere?
Do you NOT own a laundry basket and just sort of toss clothes all over the floor and they get stuck in the dryer, or do you own 47 laundry baskets and they’re all full of clean clothes that you pick from?
Allowing systems in place to become buried by clutter
I can tell which are my clients are naturally inclined to be organized…they’re the ones whose junk drawers have the tiny divided compartments that I discover when I strip away that top layer of random clutter that’s tossed on top of them. Oh, I see what they were doing here, genius!
Or these are the clients who have their pantries divided into zones, but have continuously over-shopped and overstocked and their zones have disappeared into the deep shelves or drawers.
Or the mom who bought the net to hang all the bath toys, and the bath toys don’t all fit in there, they’re also under the sink and in baby’s room, and there’s some on the edge of the tub.
(Remember to stay in the boundaries. A junk drawer can be a functional utility drawer with intention; using small containers to divide chip clips to matches to spare keys etc. is smart AND need to be respected; if it doesn’t fit, you must pare down. Allowing items to spill out of their containers, or to be mishomed, or to collect stragglers, it’s a recipe for clutter!)
Not having designated homes for things
Homes provide security and stability. Just like you, the items you choose to allow into your home deserve a place of their own so they can serve you to their highest potential.
Do your batteries have a home, or are they just scattered all over and you don’t have capacity to look so you’ll do an overnight delivery of a bulk pack?
If you want to wear those black sandals to the picnic, do you recall instantly where they are? Or are you rummaging?
If your allergies are acting up, do you know where your OTC meds are or might they be in one of eight places (and…did they expire in 2011)?
Not making timely decisions / taking prompt action
“I don’t like this as much as I thought I did when I bought it; should I return it or donate it?”
not immediately pulling outgrown clothes/toys from rotation, allowing them to add visual distraction and become clutter
recognizing that every piece of mail today is junk and putting it in the recycling bin instead of on the counter
“I’m not sure what to do with this, so I’m just going to leave it right here,” like on the entryway table, on the dining table, on the nightstand
nonjudgmentally noticing a mistake “oops, I left this out” as you notice the bread, peanut butter, and jelly still on the counter hours later, and returning them to the pantry/appropriate spot
putting the bag of items for donation in your car to drop off at the bin at the grocery store next time you go
“I’ll deal with this later,” knowing full well that later means…it becomes clutter
opening the Amazon box and breaking down the cardboard and putting the item right to use/in its home
Skipping the end-of-day reset
PLEASE don’t skip the reset. The goal of your home is not to be perfectly tidied at all times. You live there. Maybe you live with a partner, tiny humans, fur babies, older parents you care for. Life is messy. Just accept this. Don’t let it build up to be unmanageable—spending just 10-15 min as a family each day putting items away and cleaning any obvious messes, I’m telling you this is GOLD. This is the kindest gift you can give to yourself, your family, your belongings, your home.
Doing a reset allows you to mindfully see what is being used (and notice what is NOT being used), which makes decluttering easier and more natural. It lets you practice gratitude for what you have. It models to your children taking care of what we own and love. It reinforces that we have enough, so that after everyone’s in bed we don’t scroll through “sales” and our tired mind reroutes to scarcity.
Relief is right around the corner after a session with me—I mobilize your clutter and help create customized systems and storage solutions that are designed with YOUR unique needs in mind. Book a free call to talk about your home, your pain points, and ask me questions: